What it really means to lead — and show up — as YOU… the real YOU.
Let me be real with you for a second… TBH… I’ve been very real the last few months and I’m not stopping now!
For a long time, I was showing up — but not fully showing up. There’s a difference, and if you’ve ever shrunk yourself to fit a room, a relationship, or a version of your business that felt safe then you know exactly what I mean.
As the founder of AVE and events are literally my love language. I’ve built a business around creating experiences that move people, bring brands to life, and leave lasting impressions. But here’s what I wasn’t doing for a while — I wasn’t letting that version of me — the one who loves the spotlight, who thrives on connection, who has stories worth sharing — actually show up in the spaces that needed her most.
The Permission Problem
Here’s the thing nobody talks about enough: sometimes we don’t stay small because we’re not ready. We stay small because of the people and environments we’ve surrounded ourselves with and without even realizing it, we’ve started asking for permission to be our full selves. Honestly, why on earth would you ever need to ask permission to be exactly who you are? But… can’t you completely relate to this?
I was comfortable. I was skilled. But I was also holding back a version of myself that was eager. Eager to be in the room, on the stage, in the conversation. And instead of stepping into that, I kept telling myself I was too busy, that it wasn’t the right time, that it wasn’t really my lane.
Spoiler: it was always my lane. I just needed to stop letting outside noise tell me otherwise.
When Things Began to Shift
At the tail end of last year, I was attending an event and at the end, someone asked me if I could lead a small workshop for women for the new year.
A few months later, someone reached out and asked me to speak at an event.
Last year? I would have said no without a second thought to both of these requests. “I’m too busy.” That would have been the answer. And honestly, it would have been a lie I told myself to avoid stepping into something that felt both exciting and in alignment with my personal and business goals.
This year, I said yes. Like immediately YES — let’s go! I’m here for it!
Not because my schedule magically cleared up. Not because everything was perfectly aligned. But because one of my goals this year for AVE is to grow and scale and I finally accepted that growth doesn’t happen in hiding. You can’t expand your business while shrinking yourself.
Saying yes to that speaking opportunity was the first domino. And what I noticed on the other side of it (less than a week later) was simple but powerful — I felt like myself.
What Real Leadership Actually Looks Like
Here’s what nobody tells you about leadership: it’s not just about how you manage your team or structure your business. It starts with how you show up for yourself.
When I started fully leaning into the version of me who loves being in the spotlight — the version who has stories worth telling, who’s built something real, who wants to take up space in this industry (and beyond) — something shifted across the board.
My client work got sharper. My events got better. My team started seeing a version of their leader who wasn’t playing small and that energy is contagious. When you show up as yourself, you give everyone around you permission to do the same.
That’s the ripple effect of authentic leadership. It’s not just about you. It touches every person on your team, every client you serve, every event you produce.
The Event Industry Taught Me This
In events, we talk a lot about the experience. What the guest feels, what they see, how the room makes them feel alive. But we rarely talk about the person behind it all and whether they feel alive in the process.
I’ve learned that the best events I’ve produced — the ones that hit different, the ones clients talk about long after — happened when I brought my full self to the creative process. Not the version of me trying to be what I thought the client wanted, or what the industry expected. The version of me that actually has vision, instincts, and a point of view.
Recently, this became so apparent after a client event… the week following the event I got multiple emails saying how they had such positive feedback their clients were already asking “when are you hosting the next one and am I invited?” THAT is REAL impact and it would not have been possible had I not been the most authentic version of myself. Had I not said ‘no’ to some of the client requests (in the nicest way possible, of course), had I not used my expertise, knowledge of space and attendee experience.
That event not only was a huge success but then people who attended that event have now reached out asking how I can help them with their own upcoming projects.
People don’t hire AVE for generic. They hire AVE for the specific experience, creativity, and leadership that only comes when I’m operating at my full capacity.
I’m no longer holding back what that means for myself or for those around me.
FULL CAPACITY ONLY IN 2026!
So, What Does It Mean to Actually Show Up as Yourself?
It means saying yes to the room that used to feel too big.
It means not apologizing for wanting visibility and growth.
It means recognizing when the people and environments around you have quietly talked you out of your own ambition — and choosing differently.
It means leading your team, your clients, and your community from a place of fullness — not from a place of fear or approval-seeking.
It also means — and let me be very clear about this — saying ‘NO’ when things don’t align. Those no’s are just as… no… more important than some of the yes’s.
This year, I’m fully leaning in. I’m in the rooms, on the stages, in the conversations. I’m building AVE into the brand it was always meant to be — because I stopped getting in my own way.
And for You?
If you’re reading this and you recognize yourself somewhere in it whether it’s the staying small, the “I’m too busy,” or the shrinking to fit spaces that never actually fit. I want you to sit with one question:
What version of yourself have you been keeping out of the room?
Because that version? She’s not too much. She’s not unqualified. She’s not “not ready yet.”
She’s exactly who your business needs you to be right now. And that, is powerful.
Cheers my friends, until next time.
-Alex
